Ramblings of Wombmankind :
Why am I wasted?
There’s no one to hold me.
Men run away.
I’m too intense.
If I was intense and beautiful – that would be different.
If you are intense, you are beautiful.
If I could be beautiful, I could be intense.
>trigger< (shock, the tangent of seven fold path)
Intense = feminine
There’s no one to hold me in my feminine.
I don’t trust you.
Desire. Desire to trust.
No trust no desire.
Here I sit.
Deeply in the feminine. Allowing, watching, melting into long sleep ins. Walking softly, slowly, feeling the trees. The growing and dying trees, budding and rotting leaves.
The pink ray.
The green ray.
The lotus petals of my energy field.
Contracting expanding with the different energies of the forest.
It’s a place where I find it hard to activate my masculine mind.
Organisation, analysis, all forms of reasoned intellectual thought.
Seems beyond me now.
Above me now.
As I rest in the feminine.
That was the description: that desire to somehow bury myself deep in the leafy earth, burrow beneath the roots to find a quiet warm chamber to for aeons hide. Nuturance.
Held by the feminine.
Held by the masculine?
Always fraught with danger
Of disappointment or wounded pride.
But not of broken heart.
My heart is too strong for breaking.
The shard of consciousness lodged in my sacral
Creating the triangle with my sex.
That came from Scott.
Shard of Absolute here now.
Fire of Absolute causal love, stepped down thru the sun.
Balance. Between the mother here now and the father sun, lies Creation.
The threefold path – right left & loop thru the forest.
It feels like spring now.
The pink ray arises from the green ray that comes from the red.
This red ray country begins teaching me.
On the pink ray.
I learn about the trial of water.
I stand on an isthmus, flooding river rushing three sides around me :
Navigating the current is the trial of water. Flow.
I take the challenge.
I have passed thru the fire.
I made it before so many in the rest of the world come to that place.
Hawaii & the voice that stood before me masked told me so.
Volcanoes and cyclones.
Budding and dying light.
The budding within.
Navigate : The sun, solar logos, imprinting life on me on everything. The mother decaying composting rotting fecundity, growing life.
The life. The balance. The life. Transmuting sun & earth. The extra loop. What is needed on the spiral to enSoul the higher echelons of existence. I .
I am in the forest.
And the forest is me.